If Weinerdogs were bread

I compared them to candy, now, due to lack of sleep and it being Friday so I’m all caught up on laundry and cleaning, I am going to compare the Household Li’l Darlins to other things.

Bread.
Rosie (the tootsie roll) would be a crusty french roll.

Daisy (the peanut brittle) would be an artisan loaf of whole wheat bread sweetened with honey.

Lily (the marshmallow peep) would be cheap white sandwich bread.

Lacy (the snickers bar) would be Cinnamon Raisin bread, lightly toasted and slathered with real butter.

Vegetables
Rosie: a small dish of baby pattypan squash, gently steamed and sprinkled with fresh chopped parsley

Daisy: an eggplant, one of those big ones, sliced, brushed with olive oil and sprinkled with chopped oregano and kosher salt, and grilled.

Lily: a can of plain Pringles

Lacy: succotash, made with fresh off the cob corn and edemame instead of lima beans.

Meat:

Rosie: a roasted Cornish hen, stuffed with an orange

Daisy: a Beef tenderloin, crusted with horseradish and black pepper, roasted rare

Lily: a package of cheap baloney

Lacy: Venison chili, from scratch, lots of cumin and red pepper and maybe chipotles if there are any in the pantry.

Fruit:

Rosie:a ladyfinger banana

Daisy: a papaya

Lily: a bowl of cherry jello

Lacy: a granny smith apple, slightly underripe

Flowers:

Rosie: a marigold, small and consistantly cheerful

Daisy: A zinnia, one of the big ones that looks like a party on a stem, orange, sturdy, and dependable, lasts for 2 weeks in a vase

Lily: a hothouse rose, lovely to look at but no fragrance

Lacy: a Pat Austin English rose: large and sturdy, with an open character and phenomenal fragrance

Fabric:

Rosie: cotton calico, navy blue background with flowers in pink and lavender

Daisy: cotton canvas-16 oz, unbleached and undyed, emminently practical and attractive in it’s own unassuming way

Lily: silk chiffon, lovely and soft and good for nothing except being pretty

Lacy: a hand knit afghan of lightweight wool/angora blend yarns

Cars:
Rosie: a Ford Fiesta, tiny and practical, royal blue, with the perpetual sack of groceries in the back.

Daisy: a Chevy Tahoe, large and practical. Not great gas milage but everyone wants one, loaded with all the neighbors kids, a couple of pets, and a cooler full of sodas to share.

Lily: a Mazda Miata. not practical for anything but fun to have, silver with a black top, and Jackie O sunglasses hanging from the mirror.

Lacy: a 1964 Chevy Impala customized into a iridescent purple with light teal flames hydrolically enhanced Lowrider, bump and grind stereo, tufted teal green upholstery and an 8-ball gear shift knob

And so ends my list for the day.

If she were a candy, she’d be…

Rosie would be a tootsie roll…small and hard, but sweet. Simple, with a single purpose. One knows what one is getting with Rosie.

Daisy would be something substantial and honest. Peanut brittle.

Lily…well. Lily would be a Marshmallow Peep.

and then comes Lacy. She is uncompromising, complex, and chunky. Lacy is a King Sized Snickers Bar.